I filed for Divorce on the 27th of December. He was served the same day. I am sad.. I am anxious. I am hurt. I am relieved. I am excited. I look forward to the future. I am going to move forward into a new year with healing and peace. I refuse to begin yet another year where I was. I choose to begin the healing process and to put down the hurt, anger, pain, frustration, disappointment. It is no longer a load I wish to carry.
Christmas came and went. My ex did not call our children, text them or make any effort to see them. He lives less then 15 minutes from our home... Our daughter sees him about 24 hours in 1 week. My 16 year old son has reached out to him by text, phone calls, FB he has ignored him for the most part. My x has been the only father my son has had for the past 11 years. For 10 years he has been there.... Now he has chosen to throw my son aside like a piece of trash. My son, or in his words HIS son... He is no longer MY son though I have been there for EVER moment of his life of the past 10+ years. I have been informed I no longer am needed nor welcomed. I have gone to ever Dr. appointment, ever counseling appointment, ever school function, I have picked him up when he has been out of pocket at school, I have gotten almost every phone call, I have cleaned up his throw up and nursed him when he was sick. I have fought for him when he needed it in school and any where else. I have loved him and held him close to my heart even if I did not birth him from my womb.. But now I don't count. Now I have to text him to have communication with him.
I understand anger and pain, I made a choice to have an affair, I made a choice to hurt those I love. I made a choice... But the freedom from the consequences are not an option. I am sorry that I made the choices I have made that has contributed to where we are. I am sorry for the pain my children are suffering... I am sorry for the pain and hurt I am feeling. My GOD continue to place his guiding hand in our lives. I know that healing and restoration of goodness is in progress...
Life has a way of surprising me with GREAT things.
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