Early last week I filed for Child Support. I hated to do this not because my children DONT deserve his support but because as adults I felt like we should be able to communicate our children's needs as 2 people who had lived together and loved each other, as 2 people who has spent the last 11 years of our lives knowing each other, as 2 adults who had been in a relationship(not always good but committed) for the past 11 years. I never in a million years would I have thought to find myself in the situation I am in now.
My husband has chosen to ignore our daughters needs on several occasions.. More occasions then I care to admit. Over the past year plus of her life he has gradually done less and less for her until recently when I requested diapers from him he waited 9 days to respond to my request. A request that stated she had only 8 diapers left... I am beyond saddened... if you had told me the store of the past 2 years 3 years ago I would have bet you my life that it would NOT happen to me and my husband would NEVER do the things to me or our children that he has been doing.
I am so sad to see our children suffering, I am so sad to see a person I have loved and respected fall to such a hard place. I am so sad to acknowledge that I have committed the acts that I have committed that helped place our marriage into this place. I acknowledge my affair and my attitude contributed to the break down of our marriage. I am only sorry to know that he has found it to hard to forgive and work through it, I am sad that for the sake of our family and children he has chosen this path for himself.
Either way he has chosen to move on.. He has chosen to continue to disrespect me and our marriage to a point where I have found myself at peace with letting him go as he has requested.
At this point I am DONE and I need to begin my new year in a new place. With love I am letting him go on his way as he has requested. With love I am letting him go so that he can have the life he requested because that is what love is in my world.
The other part of me is OUTRAGED at the pain and hurt and I want it to stop. I have had enough and I am saying arnold!
Prayerfully I have an appointment for Monday to begin the paperwork and Tuesday I will be at the courthouse to file.
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