Its ok to say this is hard and to ask for help

I have not posted because I have been in a funk of sorts. I am tired. I am feeling hopeless, I have found desperation to be my companion more then I would like to admit, but admitting it I am. Its a challenge to keep focused on a promise when what I see is so disheartening. When I think about what the situation is I know that I can NOT give up. I am fighting for something bigger something WORTH my fight. If I had a person trying to beat my child up or steal my car I would fight back with all the tools I had. I would ask for assistance and I would stand strong. My marriage, my family, my husband, my children are PRICELESS. There is nothing that I would not do for them when it comes to saving our family.

I believe in the commitment I gave to my children when we married as well as to the children I have had sense then. That is not to say that at times I don't feel like giving up and running for the hills because I do.

Financial challenges, loneliness, anger, frustration, doubt are all emotions that assault me on a regular basis. I am HUMAN, I have feelings, I want to give up and run FAR away. I feel disappointed and betrayed but I need to own my own actions and my own place in this situation

I have contributed to where I am and I have to work on making me the best person I can be. I have recently, last night, gotten sick. I know that this is stress. I know that I am in need of help so I am getting it. I have decided to medicate myself in addition to going to counseling.