Musing of late... Continued Part 2

Dec 2010 I see T1 again and it is hard to admit how nice it was to see him again, but I think nothing much of it and times moves on. We do not speak again and have no contact. I continue to be separated from T2.

Nov 2011 rolls around and its the beginning of the Holiday season. T1's mother stays in contact with me and we have spoken a few times through the year. I call T1's mothers house and T1 happens to be there. We speak briefly and he asks for an update on my situation. I inform him I am still separated and living apart. T1 advises me that he wish someone would have talked to him and told him what a horrible mistake he was making when he and I divorced, he stated that in time T2 will feel the same way even if it is not happening now, but then he goes on to say "his loss is my gain."

I explain to him that he knows me motto, don't GO back. I have done all I could do in the past and I have always felt once I walked away to stay away. As I began to do counseling and take my medications I was confronted with my closet of skeletons. One of them being the love I have for T1.

Sense Nov 2011 T1 and I have been talking through text and rarely phone. We have discussed what his desire is for a future. Where he sees us as a family and what he wants. He has made it very very clear that his desire is marriage. He has made it clear that he wants to be with me and have a family life. He has made it very clear that he wants a life time with me.

I have found myself TORN to the depths of my soul! WHO do I stand for? What do I stand for. My heart says STAND for my 1st marriage as that is where my first commitment began, he did not walk away from me I walked away from him. He has not stated that he doesn't want me.

The bible says that there would be NO wrong on my part from allowing a man to walk away from me that is a non believer.

1 Corinthians 7:10-15

7:10  But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband

7:11  (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

7:12  But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.

7:13  And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.

7:14  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.

7:15  Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such {cases,} but God has called us to peace. This is where I find myself. Musing on the word that states very clearly. Allow him to leave and live in peace.